Did He Just Say That?

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

One of the best scene in tv history

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Doing The Math

If you were to do the math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce. After 5 years of marriage, he ends up paying her $49 million. Assuming he banged her every night, during their 5 year relationship (any married man knows THAT doesn't happen), it ends up costing him $26,849 per lay, not counting attorney's fees and court costs. Elliot Spitzer's call girl Kristen charges $4,000 an hour. Crazy, right? But...

Had Paul McCartney employed Kristen for 5 years, he would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a savings of $41+million). Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, wide open menu, ability to put BOTH legs around you, no bitching and complaining or "to do" lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back the next day, ready for another round. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees. Is it just me, or is Kristen a WAY better deal?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Are You My Daddy? - May 22nd 2008

Grey's Anatomy Star Chandra Wilson is asking Russell from Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids(bottom right), "Are you my daddy?" LMAO!!!! You be the judge. Big shout to my lovely wife for this one.

Friday, May 16, 2008

82 Things White People Like. LMAO!

I saw this and I thought this was totally hilarious. I am not the author. Enjoy

82 Things White People Like:

#82 Hating Corporations

#81 Graduate School

#80 The Idea of Soccer

#79 Modern Furniture

#78 Multilingual Children

#77 Musical Comedy

#76 Bottles of Water

#75 Threatening to Move to Canada

#74 Oscar Parties

#73 Gentrification

#72 Study Abroad

#71 Being the only white person around

#70 Difficult Breakups

#69 Mos Def (LMMFAO!!!)

#68 Michel Gondry

#67 Standing Still at Concerts

#66 Divorce

#65 Co-Ed Sports

#64 Recycling

#63 Expensive Sandwiches

#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People

#61 Bicycles

#60 Toyota Prius

#59 Natural Medicine

#58 Japan

#57 Juno

#56 Lawyers

#55 Apologies

#54 Kitchen Gadgets

#53 Dogs

#52 Sarah Silverman (I think she is really Dave Chapelle)

#51 Living by the Water

#50 Irony

#49 Vintage

#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops

#47 Arts Degrees

#46 The Sunday New York Times

#45 Asian Fusion Food

#44 Public Radio

#43 Plays

#42 Sushi

#41 Indie Music

#40 Apple Products

#39 Netflix

#38 Arrested Development

#37 Renovations

#36 Breakfast Places

#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report

#34 Architecture

#33 Marijuana

#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism

#31 Snowboarding

#30 Wrigley Field

#29 80s Night

#28 Not having a TV

#27 Marathons

#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)

#25 David Sedaris

#24 Wine

#23 Microbreweries

#22 Having Two Last Names

#21 Writers Workshops

#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture

#19 Traveling

#18 Awareness

#17 Hating their Parents

#16 Gifted Children

#15 Yoga

#14 Having Black Friends

#13 Tea

#12 Non-Profit Organizations

#11 Asian Girls

#10 Wes Anderson Movies

#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside

#8 Barack Obama

#7 Diversity

#6 Organic Food

#5 Farmer’s Markets

#4 Assists

#3 Film Festivals

#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to

#1 Coffee

So I forgot my Gym bag today

I am a former gym rat. I USED to workout 6 times a week Monday - Saturday. I say former because I am now softer than hot air dryed rabbit nuts. A back/neck injury, marriage and kids kept me out of the gym for 3 years. So stuck on swole (SOS) as I am I have recommitted myself to the gym and eating "better." Having forgotten my bag this morning I decided to go back home get my bag and go to the gym. Well due to the rain, shitty maryland drivers and one pennsylvania driver I took too long to go to the gym. I will do a 2 a day tomorrow to "make-up." PROBABLY. So since this has turned into a cheat day I was going to get some fast food. I got the Indiana Jones whopper. Do not make this mistake. It tasted like yak ass with habenero sauce, smothered in gunpowder. 1st bite I was like hmm that is an interesting blend of flavors, let me try to swallow it might get better. 2nd bite hmm that burns a bit wash it down with some diet coke. Is that SMOKE? 3rd bite.... CALL THE MORTICIAN. I would rather eat Indiana Jones' whip rather than eat this sandwich.

The moral of the story is go to the gym or eat this sandwich, either way you lose weight. Gym you will build muscle, live longer, lower your blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. The Burger King option will result in violent bylemia which leads to weight loss from loss of muscle mass, fat, rotted teeth and malnutrition.

This is a public service announcement people. Do not make this mistake. Go see the movie.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Stabenow's Husband, A Bargain Shopper

Following revelations that Michigan Senator Debbie Stabenow's husband, Thomas Athans, told police he had paid $150 for sex with a prostitute, the AP reported that police had arrested Alycia Martin, 20, on a charge of prostitution. She was subsequently released...

Not to rehash the Spitzer situation but what the hell did the $1000 an hour buy in NY and DC that $150 can buy in Michigan. I know there are VAST cost of living differences and I know that times is tough the Midwest but DAMN. I guess old boy was just a bargain shopper. I wonder if she takes anything off if you show her your union card.

But Back to Elliot, my advice to you, move west you can get 10 for the price of one. You may have to deal with a little Cat fighting if they are all together, so perhaps use a little Gatorade, Viagra, ginseng, and a staggered schedule.

What is really interesting about both of these stories is how both of them have Myspace pages. I guess EVERYONE accept for me has a myspace page. So maybe it is not just for aspiring rappers, actors, singers, and fake celebrity pages. Oh damn did I forget the Step it up 2 page. How could I forget the WACK movie pages?

You be the judge, $150/hr f0r Alycia or $1000/hr for Spitzer's Femme for Fee Favorite..

Now I am not sure if there is video but for the money, I personally think Stabenow's hubby GOT OFF better!!! LMAO

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Barney Quote of the Week

One of my favorite shows. Probably my favorite Sitcom and arguably one of the best written shows on TV. How I Met Your Mother Barney played by Neil Patrick Harris is a well to do suit wearing bachelor that is a misogynistic, male chauvinist, womanizer and he has some of the most hilarious lines ever. Which is even funnier considering, the former Doogie Howser, MD star, came out a few years ago.

My new segment, the Barney quote of the week. This weeks, quote is:

Talking to a woman that you have already had sex with is like changing the oil on a rental car.

ROTFLMMFAO!!!