Ladies Wake Up

Now I do not know the author and I do not necessarily agree with all that he says but this dude has a point. Please read, enjoy, and comment. This was forwarded to me by a dear friend.

Bottom line -- if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about, SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch. Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth. Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like this but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home". Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long. Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us Black Men (BM) do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it. Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT. Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, "I'm not lookin' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell yourself, "Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind.." NO YOU CAN'T. He said exactly what he meant. BM don't have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF. If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kinda understand back in the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? There's no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally. Show us to the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give us sex you will probably be alone anyway, but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby. I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying....

1. SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP
2. GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO
3. A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago)
4. IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF
5. IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM? IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?
6. BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. YOUR BODY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.

BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. "

I know you are used to laughing at this blog but I think more women need to read and understand this. Actually dudes tone made me laugh but hell I laugh at almost everything. I think it is funny how you hear (read) the truth so little that when you finally see it, it looks like a joke.

Phil Jackson, LOL!

I know this is late but Phil Jackson Hall of Fame player for the historical New York Knicks. The 6 Time coach of my Beloved Chicago Bulls and another team which I forget the name of... LOL Jackson is facing some contraversy for his post game comment regarding a recent Laker game. Here is the comment. "We call this a Brokeback Mountain game, because there's so much penetration and kickouts," Jackson said. "It was one of those games." Wow! HAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I think the Zen Master and I must share brains because that is totally something I would have said. I wonder if there are any other applications such an analogy. Stay Tuned.

Marriage Changes Things

Before all of you women get up in arms about the title let me start by saying that I am happily married and that I love and adore my wife. That being said we have changed quite a bit since we met 10 years ago this coming New Years Eve. We were having a conversation about some home improvements and I had a epiphany, the things that once got us excited have been replaced by things parents get fired up over. From this gorgeous loving woman that I used to chase around the kitchen, tackle in the living room, and kiss passionately for no other reason other than she was there. She looked at me with a straight face and said we should get some "really cool door knobs, That can be our thing!" What the fuck!! Before we got married we were going to the ends of the earth to see the 7 wonders of the world, we were going to climb mount everest, and winter in Tahiti. We were going to make love in the French Riviera. Now married 4 years our thing is Door Knobs. Door Knobs, DOOR FUCKING KNOBS!!! How old are we? There needs to be an intervention. Oh Jesus whats next matching bowling shirts, we will start being bridge partners, oh Lord not Bingo! You see what the American Dream does it makes you boring, makes you old. Bottomline fellas Marriage changes things!

A look at my mind

If you were to TiVo my mind for a 15 minute period you would see that my mind is like an HD television with the remote in the hands of a rambunctious 2 and a half year old. Here is a sampling:
I like to call this one "You DO Look Like a Dude."















Khadijah Farmer is put out of a women's room because
they thought she was a man. You can get the full story Here. Now I saw this chick in a TAILORED men's suit on the Today Show and she looks more like a dude looking directly at her than she does looking at her profile. There is a lesson to be learned here. If you do not want to be bounced out of the ladies room and you look like a dude #1 stop dressing like one and #2 drop a few hints I don't know maybe some lip gloss a flower pendent, hell a barrette. Although that still would not help you in Atlanta. Worse come to worse just wear a Velcro shirt and show Charlie Murphy your Titties. The controversy really started because Farmer was in the ladies room asking for a urinal. LOL! But if you tryna get paid just look like a dude and sue. As this SHIM is planning to do. Good luck. She better hope I am not the judge. Because I would look at her picture and be like case dismissed, sir.
Speaking of Bathrooms, you ever go in a bathroom that were just cleaned and they have the toilet paper in so tight that you find yourself pulling and pulling and pulling and only getting enough to cover your thumbnail. I hate that. I find myself in there for an hour trying to crochet a sweater out of the confetti I have made to wipe with. I know people who come in after me look at the floor in the stall and think they missed a parade. Today, I got fed up and just used the Baltimore Sun to wipe my ass. That is best coverage they have had in decades.

Michael Vick has to write a check in excess of 20 Million Dollars back to the Atlanta Falcons to return his signing bonus. They are just the latest people trying to get there money back from the scooby killer. It just leads me to believe that at some level we need to do psychological evaluations on ourselves. I did one today on myself I found that I am sane enough to operate in society and only cause malice and destruction on small scales, usually in client meetings, church socials, and Thanksgiving at my in-laws. But I am not crazy enough to be a multi-millionaire and lose it all. Damn. This just in Mike Vick's perspective cell-mate is a 6 foot 10, 382 pound Homosexual, defensive end/dog lover with Aids, and 4.2 speed. Let's see how evasive he is in that 10x9 cell.

OK I will stop the randomness and get back to work.

To be continued. Be afraid be very afraid.

I Hate Weddings!!!

Okay, okay, I don't hate weddings, weddings are usually cool but a wedding on your birthday sucks ass. And a wedding on your birthday that is out of town BLOWS DOG. All jokes aside I like the couple so it was worth it and I really had no choice because it was my wife's good friend. Apparently, if a woman misses a wedding of her girlfriend she immediately gets terminal left breast cancer and since I am right-handed we HAD to go. All and all the wedding was fun. The problem was we were 45 miles from home and I could not get off my ass drunk because of some law against it or some shit. Anyway had a good time danced laughed sat at the table a few nice couples although weird.

The first a mixed couple were the man was a 6'2 horizontally and vertically, 438 pounds (that's right a fucking giant Fee fi fo fum and all that shit) and the woman was a whopping 4 foot 10. Of course she had all the balls and all of the whiskey and at some point she made reference to his tiny sushi and I had to excuse myself.

There was the other couple that were only dating 2 weeks, dude she is taking you to a wedding after 2 weeks, run for the nearest exit that chick is trying to have your baby, believe that. They were funny, the girl had the stronger personality of the two, the dude was laid back and kept going to the bar for me.... Unfortunately, forcing me to have to talk to his baby hungry date. This chick was hunting semen like homosexual pirate (Arrrrrrr!) I was really getting uncomfortable now. The bar was 10 feet away and that was too far.

Then there was the other couple across the table the dude look like a fake ass Chippendale with a neck tattoo. Sidebar: Nothing says loser more than a neck tattoo except for maybe a face tattoo. The woman I swear I saw on an the HBO Cathouse but if dude loves/married her so be it.

One thing you are guaranteed to see at a wedding, old people dancing, a lot of single dudes in cheap suits trying to snag something, also a lot of women in dresses that leave little to the imagination, trying to snag something. My wife commented that one of the guests was gonna give herself a black eye when one of her titties popped out. (Her words I swear.) It is just funny as I get older I watch single people and I go wow it sucks to be them. With Herpes, AIDS, and Ugly running rampant, it is a wonder anyone has sex let alone gets married. They should make a condom that sets anybody with an STD on fire whenever it touches them, that may never pass FDA approval. Man what I need now is a good funny funeral. If you aint been to one let me know I can make arrangements.

I really Hope these are fake

OSCAR DE LA HOYA was always a pretty-boy for a fighter but this is pushing it a bit.

Is my editorial even needed here?

This is almost not funny, almost.

Aside from the clothes and the makeup apparently her performances suck ass now too. Where is her Momma? Who is her pastor? Has anyone called Jesus on her behalf yet? I need a vitamin water, a pressure pill, and a shot of Jack after this one.