Friday, October 13, 2006

God put this here for you and ME!

Now I don't smoke weed . . . anymore, but I have smoked my share. Prior to being a grown up, you know holding down a career, and developing an intense fear of jail, well jail is cool except the fact that there are other men there and that there are dudes in there that would see no difference between me and Beyonce'. If I went to a jail and there was a bunch of sexually frustrated women there I would be more than willing to do my time and anybody else's. Send me to this jail!

But seriously, what I want to know is why marijauna is illegal, who is responsible? Man do you know how much better life would be if you took a few drags of weed when stressed? I wouldn't even need any vacation time. A doobie just before lunch, a 3 hour lunch and a nap. I would work for that company forever. I mean seriously what else can make you talk like this.

I mean think about all of the positive repurcussions. I was talking to a coworker and he said that people feel that weed is a gateway drug and some pull from the rectum statistic that leads to the use of other more dangerous drugs. I said motherfucker 100% of them drank milk as babies so is lactose a gateway drug too. You have got to love expert idiots. But to be fair I did some research to find out why weed is illegal. What I found was this very interesting tid bit. WOW! "makes darkies think they are as good as the white man." WOW!

So here are my reasons why weed, marijuana, hemp, boat, tijuana tea leaves, latino lettuce, the happy plant, 4:20, etc.
First and foremost God made weed man made beer who do you trust?
We could erradicate cataracts.
Happier people in general, less stress, because you know we has an ingredient called fukit. From the latin fukkoff. Because when you high if you can't eat it f*ck it. translation, no stress.
There would be no need for a speed limit if weed were legal because the heads would be getting passed by the elderly on their Rascals Scooters. "Go head by, man"
I just bought stock in Nabisco. I bet I ate a Keebler elf in college.
Buttered Toast is almost orgasmic when you got the munchies.
Weed is the one thing that has ever made me speachless. We all could use a nice tall glass of shut the f*ck up every once in a while.
Cereal is the best thing on the Wooooooooooooooorld when you got the munchies.
Weed saved my life, I wanted to kill this dude, I smoked out before i went to find him and forgot who I wanted to kill and why I was mad.
Homemade Macaroni and cheese will give anybody a dry orgasm when after smoking weed.
Fox news seems impartial when high, wait God couldn't make fox news impartial.
Supermarkets become the promised land when you have the munchies.
You aint never stole a thing when blidded, except for maybe, a handful of cookies, tastycakes, a branch of grapes, a medium sized ham from your neighbors smoker. All victimless crimes.

I say make it legal tax it and lets make the world a better place!