Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Ladies Wake Up

Now I do not know the author and I do not necessarily agree with all that he says but this dude has a point. Please read, enjoy, and comment. This was forwarded to me by a dear friend.

Bottom line -- if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about, SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch. Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth. Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think like this but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy home". Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long. Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All of us Black Men (BM) do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it. Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT. Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, "I'm not lookin' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell yourself, "Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind.." NO YOU CAN'T. He said exactly what he meant. BM don't have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF. If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kinda understand back in the days when sex wouldn't KILL people but now? There's no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally. Show us to the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be afraid to be alone. After you give us sex you will probably be alone anyway, but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not how it works, baby. I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before giving up the panties. I try as a BM to give them the best advice I can but that won't mean a thing if BW continue to live in a dream world. You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won't change a thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying....

  1. SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP
  2. GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO
  3. A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago)
  4. IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF
  5. IF HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM? IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS?
  6. BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. YOUR BODY IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.

BW are going to have to raise their standards if they expect BM to do it. "

I know you are used to laughing at this blog but I think more women need to read and understand this. Actually dudes tone made me laugh but hell I laugh at almost everything. I think it is funny how you hear (read) the truth so little that when you finally see it, it looks like a joke.

4 comments:

A. B. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

This is the mentality I am so disgusted with! Yes! infact women need to wake up and see these animals for what they are. In most experiences (in which you failed to acknowledge sir!) These sex crazed men, usually act as though they are in a relationship with these women. They don't come out and say, " I am just going to use you to scratch my itch and then blow you off" No!they lie! Get it? Maybe not all men, but the majority of men you described are heartless sociopaths, who don't care about anyone but themselves and lie to get what they want.
They say all kinds of things to these women. "We have a special connection", "I care about you", "YOur the one", etc.....
(EMOTIONAL RAPE)
You need to stop blaming women and look at the truth.

A. B. said...

Let me remind you that I am not the author. I merely posted this so that some might think about the points he has raised.

I personally think dating is a game of poker, no pun intended, we all put forth our best face. For me it is brutal honesty at an attempt to find a greater connection.

I am not sure if I made it clear in my post that I was not the author. IF you have concerns with my comments that appear before and after this authors thoughts please let me know.

Thanks for your comment and I hope that your disgust goes away one day.

Anonymous said...

Emotional Rape are you serious lady?