Morning Rant: In and Out Burgers be Good

Only an In-N-Out Burger can put a smile like this on a grown mans face. Well any burger works for Cedric. Cedric the Entertainer enjoys an In-N-Out burger at an Oscar after party. Look how happy he is. The burger took away his depression after not being nominated for his role in The Cleaner. (Will anybody admit to seeing that?) Cedric come on to the east coast and check out Five Guys it puts In-N-Out to shame.

Nice suit Ceddy. That second button is pulling a bit, I am sure your tailor can handle that. A few more burgers and POP, ping, ping, ping, ping, MY EYE MY EYE!

All jokes aside brother your suit is stretching so much it is starting to get as shiney as P. Diddy's. You might want to see if Fox will give you another variety show. Shucking and Jiving burns more calories than does actual talent. Look how thin Wayne Brady is. I mean damn brother you look like you ate Lavita. LMAO!

All jokes a side I am big fan, get healthy and make some good movies, please. I am not a gastroenterologist but that gut looks like a tumor.

Can somebody get this man a Nutrisystem deal? Who the hell is his agent? They helped Mike Golic Lord knows they can help you.(Breathe, breathe) I feel better now. Five Guys for lunch, I am buying. Who's in?

Congratulations to Forrest Whitaker and Jennifer Hudson

And the winners are... (Well the winners that I care about are) For Best Actor Forrest Whitaker for his role as Idi Amin in The Last king of Scotland.

And for her portrayal of Effie White in Dream Girls Jennifer Hudson win the best supporting actress Oscar.

There is something magic about this picture I just can't put my finger on it. LMAO!!!

Both well deserved and Forrest yours was long overdue. I was truly moved by both acceptance speeches. Forrest yours was phenomenal I have seen all of your movies and I realize that I had no idea what your actual voice sounded like.

Much love to you both. Congratulations.

Honorable mention to goes to those nominated but that did not win. The Pursuit of Happyness, Eddie Murphy for his nomination for playing James "Thunder" Early (Donkey from Shrek) in Dreamgirls.

I almost forgot to mention my personal favorite movie from 2007 The Departed for winning Best Picture and a slew of other awards and Martin Scorsese finally winning best director. Finally, a movie that people actually went to see in the movies wins. Again congratulations.

Show Em What You Got Jordan

Michael Jordan, greatest basketball player ever. Jay-Z best rapper alive. You gotta love this joint. Enjoy.

Michael Jordan Jay-Z Beach Chair

It's like I made this myself.

Black Snake Moan

Black Snake Moan My man Samuel Leroy Jackson, Jr. Morehouse grad, and First Negro Jedi Master. (Hand me my lightsaber. Which one? The one that say Bad Motherfucker!) So I am watching The NBA All Star game. Getting ready for work and a Samuel L. Jackson movie preview starts I sit at the edge of the bed and... Wait did he just have a white woman on a chain? Oh naw that was my imagination I dun messed around and dozed off. Tivo rewind. Oh hell he DID have a white woman on a heavy chain? Yes he did have a white woman on a chain, and not willingly either. So I guess this aint a porno. Not just any white woman Christina Ricci. In the heart of the south and Justin Timberlake is in it. This cannot be good. I tell you one thing Black Snake Moan, that is a porn title, there is no doubt about it. Does anybody white know about this movie?I mean after all if a white woman goes missing the Today show goes on 24 hour alert, it becomes a federal holiday. And if a black dude kidnapped her ... nevermind. Y'all know I am going to see this joint the day it premieres. Anyway as this story develops I will keep you all informed. Sammy Sammy Sammy.

Today's Are you my daddy?

Mario is asking Chris Rock, Are you my daddy? You be the judge. I am thinking that the proximity of B-More and DC, there is a good chance. Correction Chris Rock is from Bedstuy. My bad looks like Mario's Mom travels or is a groupie either way he look like that grapple-handed bastard.

Little Brother - And Justus For All

My favorite Rap group since Tribe. Phonte is the most lyrical cat recording nowadays. I will argue with anybody on that. Why don't I hear these brothers on the radio. All I here is noise, a song with a whack dance associated with it. If you love hip hop, if you need a change, if you need something clean, something deep rooted, you need to download this Mixtape. Ladies and gentlemen Little Brother - And Justus For All!

Brian Moorman Congrats on Making the Pro Bowl But . . .

Brian Moorman you are still just a punter! There are reasons why you only have one bar on your helmet. You are a punter, just a tad tougher than a male cheerleader. Kick the ball dumb ass. Beautiful hit Shawn Taylor.

Tell'em Tyra

You have to admire Tyra for going at her critics like this. In my opinion she looks good. She looks healthy. She looks like a normal woman. She looks like a woman that most of us men would be blessed to have. And to any husband that is telling his wife that she is too fat, chances are you fellas needs to look in the mirror. I am willing to bet that 95% of married couples in the United States the woman looks MUCH better naked to other WOMEN. So men if you are being hard on your woman remember one thing eventually you are going to get old, lose your hair, and one thing is for sure you may not be able to stand up like you do today. Wifey will always be attractive to men eventually unless you are super rich she will be all you've got. Remember this you never have to replace the hole, you always have to replace the pole. Go Tyra, you are on your way to being the next Oprah.

The Office Dance

Quite possibly one of the funniest things I have seen on the web. Big shout to the Office (UK)

Joke of the Day - What Would You Do?

A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and there was his wife in bed with another man. The husband put a gun to the naked man's head.

The wife shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser. He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"

The cabby said, "I'd cover his ass up with that blanket before he catches a cold."

He is up before Jesus and the Mexicans

Don't let your kids F*#k with you

This dude makes me laugh. Even when I am not looking at his suit or his perm.

The First One is Slippery

Katt Williams Sex 101


He might be almost as funny as me!

My New Favorite Show - Heroes

I will be the first to admit that I have been a sci fi junkie from way back. I think it goes back to being the baddest 5 year old at Atari Asteroids, and wanting to be an Astronaut. It was not until the 4th grade when I realize being strapped to a bomb built by the lowest bidder was not a great idea. Yes, after the Challenger accident that all school children in the US watched explode, I decided that was not a good idea. And after the AstroNUTZ love triangle in the news it is a good thing I changed my mind. I would 100% have been apart of that somehow some way not that this chic is my speed but somehow I would be being investigated. That is just how my life goes. But back to Heroes. Heroes is the only show on the world that can make me delay watch 24 another hour. It made me forget that I only got to see Lost 6 times in 2006. (Most of those times I fell asleep on it.)
This show is so good that I have all of my work buddies into it. We have heated discussion about it and some times arguments. Pretty sad but hey football is on hiatus until August what's a man to do. NBA, maybe in the playoffs, maybe. NCAA tourney is coming up but nothing is like football.
Anyway Heroes as you all know is a story of ordinary people like you and me that discover they can do extraordinary things like fly, read minds, heal rapdily, etc. The kid in the comic bookstore in me is in love with this show. I mean my mom will tell you about me jumping around the house in my Underoos Thank God there is no tangible evidence of this. LMAO they had Tonto! But anyway heroes is very addictive and if any of you have not checked it out please toon in to NBC.com to get caught up. If any of you have heroes questions, comments, or theories post them here and we can have a discussion. I am always ready. My biggest theory of all there is no way that Shaft, Richard Roundtree, was on this show and died in vane. Is he Linderman? We shall see. Let me know what you think.

Able to Leap Tall Midgets in a Single Bound

Oh my damn! That was 66 inches off of the ground. Arizona Cardinal safety Adrian Wilson got BOUNCE for real. This reminds me of when I got disqualified in that limbo contest on my honeymoon. Going under that is for them island dudes, I'm from the corners I go over or THROUGH! They wasn't ready!